A husband and his wife who have been married twenty years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife,
- "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill."
She says nothing and ignores the remark. A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill. Then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps,
- "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!"
She ignores this remark as well. Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds,
- "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."



A guy meets a gorgeous woman at a bar. After an evening of drinking, they both go back to her place. Within minutes of arriving, they are on the bed. He removes her blouse and skirt. Then, he pulls off his pants and shirt. He gets on top, and begins to make love to her. After awhile, he notices that with each stroke he takes, her toes curl up.
- "Wow," he thinks, "I am Good!" and intensifies his thrusting. At this point, she stops him.
- "What's wrong?" he asks, "I thought you were enjoying this?"
- "I'd enjoy it even more," she says, "if you took off my pantyhose."

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