- What do you call a surrealist painter wearing boxing gloves?
- Mohammed Dali.



An Artist had made sculptures out of cow patties. Critics were calling him a bull**** artist...



Mr Nilnort was a true minimilist artist. He opened an exhibition with nothing in it and called it,
- "The rip off".



A man walked into a Gallery and noticed a $15,000
price tag on a wall but no art work. Curious he asked
the Curator where the artwork was, she said:
- "The Wall"



- Why are vampires artistic?
- They're good at drawing blood.



Jock, the painter, often would thin his paint so it would go further. So when the Church decided to do some deferred maintenance, Jock was able to put in the low bid, and got the job. As always, he thinned his paint way down with turpentine. One day while he was up on the scaffolding - the job almost finished - he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened. The downpour washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off his scaffold and onto the lawn among the gravestones and puddles of thinned and worthless paint. Jock knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried:
- "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice:
- "Repaint! Repaint! and thin no more!"

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